DAD

When we look back of our younger days we see our father as a fiercesome being that we look up to. As days passed by my dad became the weakest one.  Back in 2009, he was diagnosed as the youngest diabetic patient in SOTTO Hospital at the age of 33. We were confident and not worrying about that much. We haven't dwelt on the problem until he was having too much dizziness, frequent hospitalization for highblood pressure and difficulty of breathing. The dreadful time was on March 2012 when he was diagnosed for his Chronic Kidney Failure and was asked for a operation leading for a hemodialysis lifetime.  It was a decision strongly made by him that he wants it.

As he had the operation things and money were spent, but really the Government has helped a lot for the expenses. Philhealth has made a great job and role in making all these interventions possible. We paid only 40% of the whole amount that supposedly to be paid.


As the months went along, dad had to go another procedure which will be a  lifetime committment for the family, and we had a great idea how to do it. It has been a big surprised for everyone that we could have a chance of getting him well enough in his young age of 45.

We need this 260K for his operation, since yesterday we are oblige to our quest solving this problem , well maybe we can say it is a blessing though.  We cried for the big possibilities of making our brother as a donor cause none of the working siblings can somehow. each ahs to contribute..
My brother maybe as I think has been unfortunate, as a sister I will always give him love and care as much as i can.  So having this instant will give us a committment towards him for all his life. getting what is for your body and enduring the pain of an operation is such a very sad thing.  It maybe a greatest sacrifice for a child to his parents. But still I feel sad of having such option. Maybe I could be the second one, I maybe scared of the pain, having this but for him maybe I could endure. Crazy but true this is a test of being a family. I understand the word now , so true and so rigid.. We are just fragile people that need to fill up one another..

Grey Hair

The family.  We were a strange little band of characters trudging through life sharing diseases and toothpaste, coveting one another's desserts, hiding shampoo, borrowing money, locking each other out of our rooms, inflicting pain and kissing to heal it in the same instant, loving, laughing, defending, and trying to figure out the common thread that bound us all together.  ~Erma Bombeck

I haven't worried much about my parents much. Just that they gouge me all the time about the things they have done to me. It is a very typical thing that parent usually do in the Philippines. But as I grow old  I realize how parents love their kids and even then they gouge them it never be a measure that they are gouging about such situation.
I grow in a young parent family, they got married at their teenage years. Raising kids with their hair darker than ever. I got a young mom mostly thought about being my older sister. I remember the time when my mom was still 25 and their are boys telling me to say "hi" to my sister. My dad was immature and inadequate to be a father of 4 then. I vividly recall the memories with his mistress in some mall here in Cebu. (If I say it again he got easily pissed off about the experience.)

As I aged,  notice the grey hair growing on my parents' forehead. Getting my father back and forth in the hospital for his hemodialysis would not be a piece of cake.  Realizing on day , oh my I am getting old, and so are they.  It is not an impeccable world. I have all my selfishness and they have theirs.  We don't get along very fine because of some issues of my education.  But I tried hard to help them even sometimes it is very unclear to see.

The other day I went to my brother's ringhop party,  I reflected my parents' greatness. They gave their love and support to us. It is not an easy journey, and we are not there yet. But as years unfold and as our great worry of my father's counted years, my brother made me realize how important my parents are. How those grey hair compelled me of giving them joy and happiness while they are here.

Fights and misunderstanding never water down a parent unconditional love for their kids. UNCONDITIONAL does not necessarily mean that parents will not pressure and demand something from their children. It means whatever the child do opposite to their will, they get angry , affected, exhausted and devastated, thus it results to shouting, castration, cursing, hitting and moving out. But still after quite a while when you back to your doorstep it seems nothing happened. They will talk to you as if you never did anything.

They blunder and thwart things but seemingly they are also learning about life similarly to what we are doing. It vexed me whenever times called me to do something especially that time is when they say it.  I am afraid I am addicted to the serum of making them happy but my brother's actions telling me "I will make them happy they are the one who did something  doting and gumpted along way not just a nobody".

My parents gave a gift of having wonderful siblings. We fight and exchange words but they never fail me to be happy whenever they are around. They have their on flaws and as well I do.

My dad flails his annoying comment most of the time. Looking at him the scary man in my past. Who is immature and incompetent as my dad. BUt above all he is man who worked abroad to set a better future for the family. He is the man  with inniative and guts to justify his actions. He is someone we call when theirare difficult things to handle.

I remembered the day when my mother announced to my dad that I need to have a COLONOSCOPY. My dad didnt understand it but he cried  and say "mura man na ug grabe nga sakit". My mom said its not a disease it is a procedure to be done. I got teary eye whenever I recall this memory. Now he is sick and we are maybe counting the years he spend with us. I am making sure he makes memories even he is mostly annoying.   He want to fight with this disease, we are planning to give him a transplant. But it takes money for us to pay such. I am afraid that  I will wake up one day , dreadful thing will happen.

Yes it happens to everyone, but the pain it would cause to our hearts will be excruciating then. Gradually, I envisage about making those grey hair wipe away with happiness on their faces. It may be and mostly material but more importantly it would make them smile every single day.

“One day you will do things for me that you hate. That is what it means to be family.” 
― Jonathan Safran Foer, Everything Is Illuminated

Crazy analysis

It has never been so long since I posted such blog, I am a proud sister of today reason I am back. A little bit of achievement brought to the senses of the family. Even this kid is kinda hardheaded in his decision making and though fights come around sometimes it wasn't that unfortunate for this relatedness. I have a great question in my mind that hasn't been asked and figured out and will never be probably, how God created siblings how does he assigned us to a certain household how does he even figure out about on which number are we gonna be?? Perhaps it has a great compelling. When he arranged those numbers and parents for each kid. I always think that siblings are greatest gift they are simply the one you bullied while in your young year with me I am the eldest so I do a lot of it those times. They are one of the reasons I get up and work where I already tried my best to finish school because my mom said I can be a good role model. I am and I will always be I guess. We had big fights but why it is the easiest thing and the easiest person to forgive. A small saying of sorry melts heart and tears come running down. They are basically people That has the same DNA structure blood composition flowing your veins. earnestly, they are people whom you shared your most unforgettable childhood happy or not. I remembered the times when they feared me like a devil , I throw things on them If my demands weren't met.. It was a fretting idea but scary and traumatic for them. I was the evil and my mom was an angel. Sucks for them when they have to eat their meals in a day and I will be feeding them. It was a martial law punishments are great and freedom is not an option. Where in tv is a price. And smiles are scare. But I am happy that we all grown up as friends, me realizing how great and complete it would be to have them.